The Destruction of Denver, Colorado

This one never ceases to amuse me; I could read it over and over. I think my favorite part is when the silverware turns to rubber. That was worth mentioning?

"I predict that a large city in Colorado will be the victim of a strange and terrible pressure from outer space, which will cause all solids to turn into a jelly-like mass. I predict that this pressure will not affect any other part of the world but will be pinpointed at one particular city. Housewives working at home will suddenly feel the floors sway and buck underneath them. Their once sturdy furniture will slither into weird and fantastic shapes. Dishes will turn into putty, and silverware will have the texture of rubber.

I predict that without warning buildings will collapse to the ground in near silence trapping thousands in the rubble. These unfortunate victims will not be cut or gashed, but death will be caused by crushing and smothering. These collapsed buildings will look like masses of oddly formed rubber. Transportation in this forsaken city will be crippled, for I predict automobiles, trains, cars and buses will be entirely useless. Factories will be unable to continue production. Poles supporting high-tension wires will collapse. The entire population will live in terror and in fear.

I predict that a state of emergency will be declared and Federal aid will be granted but as rescue units approach the city they will lose all semblance of solidity and will be rendered helpless. The people who attempt to escape in wild panic will be unable to move through the gummy streets. Hospitals will suffer, and I predict that doctors in the midst of operating will find their surgical instruments useless for they will bend and curl. needles will not penetrate flesh and glass will mold together. Many patients on the operating table will recover from the anesthetic without means of administering further pain-killing drugs, and the results will be most unpleasant.

I predict that this catastrophe will take place during the tourist season and the fun-loving people in the amusement zone will suddenly find their day of pleasure turned into one of horror. A roller coaster will rise and sway, throwing cars and occupants to the ground below. A ferris wheel will collapse and carry many children to untimely deaths. A penny arcade will become a dungeon of doom, a canopy of a merry-go-round will plunge down upon its most innocent riders.

I predict only silence will reign where there was once laughter and gaiety. The citizenry of this Colorado city will find themselves enveloped in a jelly-like substance that was once brick, concrete, steel, and lumber. They will be unable to escape for it will be impossible to cut through or tear this substance. Although soft and pliable i8t will still retain the strength and weight formerly possessed. I predict in the outskirts the conditions will not be as serious but fleeing people will find themselves mired in roadways and hardly be able to move.

I predict that scientists from all over the world will be called upon to help but no one will be able to offer relief for they will not be able to conquer this terrible force, this mysterious force from outer space. Gradually, as conditions ease, survivors will be evacuated, but this will become a dead city and will never again be reborn. I predict this unfortunate community will be a victim of elements beyond our control and will always be remembered until the end of time.

I predict the name of the city will be Denver, Colorado. The date: June 9, 1989."