TV Show of the Week: "Mean Acres"

Weekly dramedy in which lawyer Clarence Darrow Porter (Edward Albert, Jr.) makes his dizzy, spendthrift wife Liza (Nastassia Kinski) give up life in the urban jungle for the peace, quiet and friendliness of life on a country farm in a small town. Unfortunately, he picks Snooterville, a place where the locals are shallow, superficial, bigoted gossips who've made snooping, innuendo and back-stabbing a way of life. In the first episode, handyman Stinky Murdock (former U.S. Senator Bob Dole) tells everyone that he saw "cityboy" Clarence coming out of nearby sissy bar The Knot Hole, hand-in-hand with general store owner and Knights of Columbus president Sam Drucker (Burt Reynolds.)
THEME SONG:
CLARENCE:
Mean acres is the place I am,
Bigots make up scandals instead of jam.
Gossip all the day and all night too,
God help me if they find out I'm a Jew.
LIZA:
New York is where I used to live,
here, I feel like a fugitive.
Our shack doesn't even have a balcony,
Any day now I am just going to flee.
CLARENCE: The bores,      LIZA: The whores.
CLARENCE: Green grass.      LIZA: Kiss my ass.
CLARENCE: You are my wife,      LIZA: And I just bought a knife.
BOTH: Mean Acres we are there!